Category Archives: wingnuts

Flakies – The Wingnut Series

Michele Bachman - Flakies  :   http://mariopiperni.com

Thanks to E.A. Blair for suggesting this wonderful new product…and illustration. We’re planning on introducing more of your favorite wingers on Flakies boxes because…well, because every wingnut deserves the recognition.

Let me know in the Comments who you’d like to see on a Flakies box.

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The Michele Bachmann source photograph is a Creative Commons licensed image from photographer Gage Skidmore.

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Bye, Bye Bachmann

Michele Bachmann - Epic Fail  :   http://mariopiperni.com/

All good bad things must eventually come to an end.

Tea Party favorite Michele Bachmann, who last year ran for the Republican presidential nomination, announced on Wednesday that she will stand down from her seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.

In a video posted on her website and on YouTube, the stressed that her decision to stand down from her Minnesota seat was not due to any concern she would be defeated at the next election in 2014 or the inquiries into activities of her former presidential campaign staff.

And she said she would continue to fight for the policies she believes in and that her future was “limitless and my passion for America will remain.”

Whatever. The truth is that Bachmann came close (less than 5000 votes) to losing the heavily Republican Minnesota 6th district last time around. With another two years of lunacy under her belt, her fortunes were not about to improve in 2014. Combine that with her embarrassing presidential run and the ensuing Federal Election Commission investigation into her campaign, and one might see why Bachmann found this to be the opportune time to call it quits on the political front.

Besides, as Mrs. Palin can attest to, there’s a fortune to be made in conservative media and the right-wing speaking circuit. There is no shortage of fools on the right waiting to get their little heads filled with all the news they can get from inside the bubble. And who better than a Michele Bachmann to keep little wingers happy and satisfied. It’s cash-in time.

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The Michele Bachmann source photograph is a Creative Commons licensed image from photographer Gage Skidmore.

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Allan West Finally Gives It Up

Allen West    -    http://mariopiperni.com/

The guy who once said to Democratic leaders…

Take your message of equality of achievement, take your message of economic dependency, take your message of enslaving the entrepreneurial will and spirit of the American people somewhere else. You can take it to Europe, you can take it to the bottom of the sea, you can take it to the North Pole, but get the hell out of the United States of America.

…is now history. After dragging out his election loss for two weeks, West finally came to grips with reality…sort of. This is what he wrote on his Facebook page yesterday.

While many questions remain unanswered, today I am announcing that I will take no further action to contest the outcome of this election.

I’m not sure what made me happier on election night – President Obama’s win or Allen West’s loss. It might very well have been the latter. If there was one Republican who embodied the complete tea-bagging, partisan, obstructionist, narrow-minded idiocy of the last two years, it was West.

And so, to the man who once said that he believed that 78 to 81 members of Democrats in Congress were members of the Communist Party, here is my own little farewell message to Mr. West.

Take your message of ignorance and hate, take your message of economic favoritism for the wealthy, take your message of enslaving the middle class somewhere else. You can take it to Fox, you can take it to talk radio, you can take it to the bottom of the sea, but get the hell out of Congress.

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Conservative’s Three Part Tragedy

The Republican Bubble - mariopiperni.com/

I don’t believe conservatives and Republicans quite understand what led to the trashing of Mitt Romney and the Republican agenda. Mary Matalin lays it out in a piece titled Mendacity and Malice Won.

Her villain…

What happened? A political narcissistic sociopath leveraged fear and ignorance with a campaign marked by mendacity and malice rather than a mandate for resurgence and reform. Instead of using his high office to articulate a vision for our future, Obama used it as a vehicle for character assassination, replete with unrelenting and destructive distortion, derision, and division.

and hero…

Mitt Romney distinguished himself and conservatism with a grounded, courageous, forward-thinking problem-solving reform agenda for a nation ready to renew and starved for leadership and maturity. He is a man of integrity and character, as is his whole family. And unlike in the 1996 and 2008 Republican campaigns, which — though led by men of great personal integrity — were marked by dead-end policy prescriptions, Romney/Ryan laid a durable philosophical and policy foundation for the next generation of conservative leadership.

…and tragic end.

Unfortunately and unfortuitously, forces of nature bookended the general election: Our convention was compromised by one weather disaster and our momentum stalled by another. Two human hurricanes also radically altered the political atmosphere: Bill Clinton’s unique windbaggery constituted a campaign updraft, while Chris Christie’s deplorable and gratuitous gas-baggery infused the campaign with a toxic political pollution.

They’re hopelessly delusional but let them keep on believing this crap as their party slowly drifts into irrelevance. Despite Matalin’s misguided rant (projection, anyone?), the political narcissistic sociopath she so despises is currently the president of the United States…and will be for the next four years. That makes me smile.

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The “Perfect” Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney Series - Abortion    /    http://mariopiperni.com/

When you think perfection, does Mitt Romney come immediately to mind? If not, it should…at least according to Fox News’ Kimberly Guilfoyle.

He just seemed very presidential. I had like a moment on the floor where I was looking up at him and you see the big banners in the background and the pictures of him and you thought ‘wow, if you went to central casting you couldn’t pick a better guy that looked presidential, sounded strong and steady.’ I think there’s been kind of a reaction from the public until now that, listen, this guy is almost too perfect, the family looks perfect, like all the kids when they came out on stage. Is it such a bad thing to choose perfect? Like, why fault the man because he’s qualified and because he sounds good and he’s strong and steady and he’s not a showman. He just wants to get the job done.

What fascinates me about Guilfoyle’s remark, aside from the breathtaking ignorance it takes to make such a remark, is knowing that she believes every word of it.

I have little doubt that when she looked up from the floor of the Tampa arena and saw Mitt up there delivering his acceptance speech, she truly saw perfection. The lies, the bullshit, the phoniness, the cluelessness, the utter lack of principles and inner convictions, the complete disregard for the 99 percent who don’t have a million dollars stashed away in a savings account, the contempt for the poor and elderly neatly veiled behind empty platitudes of compassion …none of that was visible to Guilfoyle. All she saw was a financially successful man with nice hair…and a political affiliation whose label does not start with the letter ‘D’. Nothing else really mattered because life in a bubble does not require anything more.

If the gauge by which we judge the qualities of a leader is wealth, than yes, Mitt is Mr. Perfect. But by any other evaluation metric, Romney is little more than a rich guy whose entire life has been based on doing what he must to get what he wants.

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