Tag Archives: mitt romney

Marco Romney

Marco Romney : MarcoRubio / MittRomney   http://mariopiperni.com/

Daily Kos takes a look ahead to Marco Rubio’s Republican response to President Obama’s State of the Union address tonight.

Okay, so Marco Rubio will propose tax reform (just like Mitt Romney), more digging and drilling for oil and gas (just like Mitt Romney), and some sort of tax benefit for job training (just like Mitt Romney). He’ll also accuse President Obama of wanting nothing but big government and of opposing our enterprise system (just like Mitt Romney). And, finally, he’ll claim that by raising taxes on wealthy people, President Obama is trying to hurt middle-class families (just like Mitt Romney).

In other words, Mitt Romney is basically giving the Republican response to the State of the Union tonight, except this time, it’ll be translated into Spanish.

Correct. New face, same message. The Republican hope is that their current pretty-faced messenger will somehow be able to sway the masses in ways that their last one was unable to do. And to do it without changing the message much. Good luck with that.

It’s going to take a lot more than the words of a charismatic Latino to change around Republican fortunes.

 

UPDATE

Today, Rubio voted against reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. You can count on Dems bringing up that bit of information in 2016 should Rubio become the Republican nominee.

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The Romney source photograph is a Creative Commons licensed image from photographer Gage Skidmore. The Rubio source photograph is a Creative Commons licensed image from Ann Marie Curling.

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If Romney Won – His First Day

Mitt Romney EtchASketch - Broken and On Sale : http://mariopiperni.com/

The Tweet of the Day via DailyKos

Ah yes…Romney’s first day in office was going to be a busy one and sadly (not), we’ll never get to know exactly how much Mitt would have accomplished in those first few hours of his presidency.

A few months back, Stephen Colbert took a stab at prognosticating a Romney First Day. Here’s how he saw it unfolding.

January 20, 2013
8am – noon: Inauguration.
12:30: Appoint Cabinet.
1:00: Take photo for White House ID card.

RomneyDayOne-photo1
1:07: Retake photo.
1:45: Repeal Obamacare.
2:30: Examine remains of Roswell aliens.
3:00: Unwrap Oval Office label-maker.
3:15: Label China a currency manipulator.

RomneyDayOne-China
4:00: Pick nuclear launch codes, maybe zip code + Ann’s birthday?
6:00: Take down Biden’s old Erik Estrada posters.
6:15: Get everyone in America a job.
8:00: Activate self-deportation.
9:00: Immigration solved.
10:00: With Presidency completed, resign and attend inauguration of President Ryan.

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Mitt Romney’s Post-Election Career Choices

One of the downsides of the election results is that I no longer have Mitt Romney to kick around. With the possible exception of Sarah Palin, no other politician inspired me with so many new and fun ways to mock him in graphic form as did flip-floppin’ Mitt. It was effortless. Mitt the cardboard cutout, Mitt the windsock, Mitt the bumbling fool as Mr. Bean, Mitt the liar as Pinocchio , Mitt the fraud artist, Mitt the rich, empty, soulless creep…there are over 150 Mitt illustrations on my Romney page. The man was pure gold.

And now…nothing. How will I ever fill the void? Who will the new Mitt Romney be and how soon before they emerge on the political scene? These are the questions that people like me ask. Sad, I know.

Well, I’m not alone. Richard Adams over at The Guardian is missing Mitt so much that he decided to take a look at a number of post-election careers Romney has available. I thought I’d try to match some of my illustrations to Adams’ picks.

1. Chief executive of PBS

Big Bird - Save : http://mariopiperni.com/

Watch out, Paula Kerger, current president and chief executive of PBS. Mitt Romney just has to stride into the PBS boardroom, look everyone in the eye and say: “I love Big Bird.” Drops the mic. Game over. You may as well resign now, Kerger.

2. Game show host

Mitt Romney to host a new talent show, America’s Got Trees, in which the failed presidential candidate and a panel including Tyra Banks and Edward Knipling, administrator of the US Agricultural Research Service, sit in judgment of contestants’ trees. At the climax of each round Romney reveals which tree is “just the right height”.

3. Furniture magnate

Invisible Obama Chair : http://mariopiperni.com/

Mitt Romney knows a great PR opportunity when he sees one – sometimes – so why not form a business partnership with Clint Eastwood to design and market a line of furniture aimed at the elderly and ironic hipsters. Motto: “Chairs you can talk to.”

4. Real-life Bond villain

If there’s anyone who could pull off the whole Bond villain thing, it’s Mitt Romney. He already has the wealth and inappropriate laugh. All he needs now is to buy mysterious Skull Island, start work on a Death Beam in a dormant volcano – and pretty soon the UN will be getting ransom demands for a trillion dollars and a recount of Ohio in which Romney wins no matter what the outcome.

5. Restaurant founder

Mitt Romney - Believes in half of America : http://mariopiperni.com/

A national chain of all-you-can-eat buffets named The 47%, drawing on Mitt Romney’s wide knowledge of American regional cuisine – such as deep-fried butter and cheesy grits – from the campaign trail. Advertising slogan: “Everybody wants free stuffing!”

6. Bitter old man

You lost the election – so why not fail to get over it by ceaselessly moaning about the guy who beat you, while going on the Sunday talk shows and making idle threats? Note: this post is currently occupied by John McCain.

7. Presidential candidate

Mitt Romney - MAD : http://mariopiperni.com/

Look: Rubio’s a kid who muffs a softball interview with GQ. Christie’s a lard bucket who sucks up to Obama. Romney 2016!

8. Executive headhunter

Romney - Women Binder : http://mariopiperi.com/

Another business opportunity staring Mitt Romney in the face: a female-only executive recruitment agency, Binders Full of Women.

9. Saviour of the Twinkie

Mitt Romney / Marie-Antoinette - http://mariopiperni.com/

A takeover of Twinkie manufacturer Hostess is just the job for a turnaround expert such as Mitt Romney. Critics might point out that an appetizing appearance masks a lack of substance and a core of toxic gunk. But enough about Paul Ryan.

10. Nothing

Mitt Romney / Paul Ryan / gilligan : http://mariopiperni.com/

Finally: Mitt Romney could just hang around, doing nothing of note and living off his wealth, just as he did between early 2008 and sometime in 2011. (Seriously, what did Romney do between presidential campaigns? Go into cryogenic suspense? Hunt for Nicole Simpson’s real killer?)

If you have any ideas of your own for Romney’s post-election career, feel free to share. Mitt could use all the help he can get. Here’s my own thought on what Mitt can do with all the time he now has at his disposal.

Standup Comedian

Mitt Romney / Groucho Marx : http://mariopiperni.com/

The guy’s a natural. He’d make a killing on the comic circuit and the best part is that he would not need writers. Mitt would only have to be himself. How perfect is that!

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What A Romney Win Would Have Meant

Mitt and Ann Romney - the Tragicomedy Ends  :   http://mariopiperni.com/

Rachel Maddow lists the huge implications of what an Obama win means…or more precisely, what a Romney loss means in terms of what is not going to happen. There’s some pretty big stuff here and a good reminder of the tragedy that could have been.

We are not going to have a Supreme Court that will overturn Roe vs. Wade.
There will be no more Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alioto’s added to this court.
We are not going to repeal health reform.
Nobody is going to kill Medicare.
Nobody is going to make old people in this generation fight it out in the open market for health insurance.
We are not going to give 20% tax cuts to millionaires and billionaires and expect programs like food stamps and kids health to cover the cost.
We are not going to make you clear it with your boss if you want to get birth control from your health provider.
We are not going to redefine rape.
We are not going to amend the United States Constitution amendment to stop gay people from getting married.
We are not going to double Guantanamo.
We are not eliminating the Dept of Energy, the Dept of Education, the Dept of Housing at the Federal level.
We are not going to spend 2 trillion dollars on the military that the military does not want.
We are not scaling back on student loans because the new plan is you should borrow money from your parents.
We are not vetoing the dream act.
We are not self-deporting.
We are not letting Detroit go bankrupt.
We are not starting a trade war with China on inauguration day.
We are not going to have as President, a man who once led a mob of friends to run down a scared gay kid to hold him down and forcibly cut his hair off with a pair of scissors while that kid cried and screamed for help.  And there was no apology, not ever.
We are not going to have a Secretary of State John Bolton.
We are not bringing Dick Cheney back.
We are not going to have a foreign policy shop stocked with the architects of the Iraq war.  We are not going to do it.

We had the choice to do that if we wanted to do that as a country, and we said no.

 

(h/t: thanks to Steve M. for providing the Maddow transcript)
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A Non-Wingnut Conservative Convinces Himself to Vote Romney

Mitt Romney - A Square Peg in a Round World   :   http://mariopiperni.com/

David Frum is one of your more enlightened conservatives so it was a bit disappointing to read his stated reasons for voting Romney. Among others, we have these two.

a) Frum doesn’t believe Romney and Republicans will really repeal the Affordable Care Act. He writes:

I don’t want to see Obamacare repealed. I don’t believe it will be, not even if the Republicans retake the Senate, which I don’t expect either. Precisely since the universal healthcare law will remain in place, I want to see it implemented by people who see cost control as the first priority – who will grant maximum flexibility to the states – and who will recognize how dangerous it is to finance Obamacare with taxes only on the rich. A law of benefit to all should be paid for by all, for otherwise beneficiaries lose all concern for costs.

How convenient. Frum is a conservative who happens to like much of what ObamaCare attempts to do in reforming health care. His dilemma lies in casting a vote for a guy who has stated loud and clear for the last 18 months that his primary goal as president will be to repeal ObamaCare.

Should the new standard for choosing a suitable candidate be that one praise every part of a politician’s platform we’re in agreement with and discount the parts we don’t like by simply stating, “Don’t worry. He won’t really do it“? If so, then politics has become more of a farce than anyone could have imagined.

Another of Frum’s reasons for voting Romney gives us a clear example of how a non-wingnut conservative goes about making peace with himself.

Rational Frum steps up first…

The question over [Romney’s] head is not a question about him at all. It’s a question about his party – and that question is the same whether Romney wins or loses. The congressional Republicans have shown themselves a destructive and irrational force in American politics.

Exactly right. Frum know this. Everyone with ears, eyes and half a brain knows this. Unfortunately, irrational Frum wins out.

But we won’t reform the congressional GOP by re-electing President Obama. If anything, an Obama re-election will not only aggravate the extremism of the congressional GOP, but also empower them: an Obama re-election raises the odds in favor of big sixth-year sweep for the congressional GOP – and very possibly a seventh-year impeachment. A Romney election will at least discourage the congressional GOP from deliberately pushing the US into recession in 2013. Added bonus: a Romney presidency likely means that the congressional GOP will lose seats in 2014, as they deserve.

Frum’s argument boils down to this: Republicans have been a destructive force in Congress and have obstructed governance in the worst of ways but let’s reward them anyway by putting their guy in the White House because electing the other guy would only give you four more years of the same. Dumb.

Someone needs to inform Frum that there’s a word for what Republicans have been doing since January 2009. It’s called blackmail…and Frum’s suggestion that the electorate pay the ransom by voting in a Republican president to appease the blackmailers is about as ridiculous a reason to cast a vote for Romney as I can think of.

Here’s how a reader responded to Frum’s nonsense.

I am voting for Romney because I don’t like federal aid for major disaster victims. Romney-Ryan will defund FEMA.

I’m voting for Mitt Romney because I also don’t like gub’ment Medicare. Getting a voucher, and paying $6,000. each year to United Health out of my retirement income is what I want.

I’m voting for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan because of hope. I hope to get a copy of their thingy showing me how to set up investment accounts in the Cayman Islands, Bermuda, and the Bahamas, so I too can get my federal income taxes below 14% a year.

I will vote for Mitt Romney for change, too. I want to see Social Security utterly gutted and turned instead into a gambling account with my Wall Street broker. Now that’s change I can believe in!

I will vote for Romney-Ryan to drive a nail into the coffin of Federal aid to Education. I’m not betting on US scientists or engineers. I’m all in on the Chinese stock market.

I will vote for Romney and Ryan for their promise to make abortions illegal (except of course in rare cases of blah, blah, blah!), and best of all to prosecute and imprison women having one.

I’m voting for Romney / Ryan because I’m for small business. I see a great opportunity for my travel agency booking weekend trips to Canada or Europe for well-cushioned women. I might even start up a coat-hanger company for the economically disadvantaged.

I’m so gung-ho for small gub’ment that I’ll be votin’ for Romney / Ryan at least 4 times:–once legally,

–once illegally in Ohio (where my buddies Carl Rove and Mitt’s own son Tagg own these wonderful electronic voting machines you can log into via the internet),

–and at least a 3rd and 4th time too, by standing guard at my voting station and challenging some librul-looking longhairs, or a couple of minority citizens by any trickery I can invent. After all, legal Democrat votes prevented are as good as Romney-Ryan votes cast, right?

There’ll be high times in the old town tonite! I’m talkin’ D.C. here, my friends! We just need to lay hold to what’s justly ours – and maybe a little bit of what’s yours, too. Mitt Romney will show the way!

(Of course, if you should happen not to agree with me on my talkin’ points, I guess you’d better be pretty sure you get out of your house, down to your voting station, and cast your vote. ‘Cause this one’s important.)

That last paragraph is pretty good advice.

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