Herman Cain

Herman Cain’s Idiot Quote of the Day

February 20, 2013 By mario piperni

This is rich. No other than Mr. Ignoramus, the pizza man himself, Herman Cain, tried to make the case on Fox News that the reason that President Obama won reelection was because 51 percent of the population is severely ignorant. Which 51 percent is that? Well, the 51 percent that voted for Barack Obama in 2012 of course.

“We have a severe ignorance problem with the people who are so mesmerized by his [Obama's] popularity that they’re not looking at the facts. Martin Luther King Jr. said fifty years ago in 1963 something that is so appropriate to today, “There is nothing more dangerous than serious ignorance”, and that’s what we have and he [Obama] gets away with it…”.

When Fox got rid of Sarah Palin and Dick Morris, there was hope by some that Roger Ailes had finally come to understand that stupid talk by uninformed ‘analysts’ was not the way to go in this new age of Obama. Sure they still had Hannity and O’Reilly and Doocy and Guilfoyle and Bolling and Gutfeld and Tantaros and Varney and many, many more to breathe life into the hermetically sealed Bubble of Ignorance that many on the right call home…but hey, they fired Palin. That was a start to saner times for Fox, wasn’t it?

Apparently not because they turned right around and hired a person who could very well be the dumbest, least informed, most shameless political figure to ever take a stab at the White House – Herman Cain. Herman Freakin’ Cain! Can you believe that?

The man who said, “…when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know” will now be educating Fox News viewers on foreign policy.

The guy who quoted Pokemon, “A poet once said, ‘Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line‘”, at a Republican presidential debate will be doing deep political analysis on the major issues of the day and Fox viewers will be none the wiser. They’ll be told stuff by a know-nothing doofus and they’ll take in every word as if it were the gospel truth because…well, because they’re Fox viewers and that is what they do.

So for all of you who wouldn’t waste a second of your time watching Fox but would love to recapture some of those crazy magical moments of sheer stupidity from the Republican primary…here’s a little Herman Cain. Enjoy.

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Filed Under: Idiot Talk Tagged With: Herman Cain

Senator Herman Cain?

January 25, 2013 By mario piperni

Do Dems have a chance in picking up a senate seat in 2014 as teabaggers pick off another semi-moderate Republican? Maybe.

Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.), one of the Republicans most vulnerable to a conservative primary challenge, will retire in 2014 rather than seek a third term.

Chambliss denied in a statement Friday morning that the potential primary was a factor in his decision, saying he was confident he would have won re-election.

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Despite his largely conservative record, Chambliss has attracted conservative ire for his interest in bipartisan compromise. His recent public break with anti-tax advocate Grover Norquist earned him particular scrutiny. He also struggled in the 2008 election, forced into a runoff with Democrat Jim Martin.

As long as the Tea Party has a say in matters, compromise will continue to be a 4-letter word in Republican politics.

The best part of this story is the polling which indicates that Herman Cain, should he decide to run (he says he won’t), would be a serious contender in a Republican primary for Chambliss’ seat. How beautiful would that be! Memories of Sharron Angle come to mind.

If there is a God, there will be a Herman Cain campaign to mock in 2014.

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Filed Under: Republican! Republican! Tagged With: Herman Cain

The Herman Cain Show

June 5, 2012 By mario piperni

Move over Limbaugh, Hannity, Malkin, Savage, Beck, Ingraham and Levin. Another dumbass is soon to join the official fold of liars and fools spreading their twisted version of the conservative gospel to a witless audience.

Conservative talk radio host Neal Boortz announced his retirement Monday after four decades at the microphone, saying he will be replaced by former GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain.

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“We tell people the cold, hard truth and the facts,” Cain told Boortz during his show Monday. “I want to continue to express my views and help educate people about what’s going on in this country. It’s like you say: the dumb masses are ruining this country.”

Now there’s a line that should be engraved in stone (upcoming illustration, I think): “the dumb masses are ruining this country.” What’s ~~ironic~~ ~~stupid~~ funny about the statement is that: a) it’s true and b) it was spoken by what could very well be the most ignorant, uninformed person to ever run for the presidency of the United States.

Nothing says more about the state of today’s GOP then knowing that for a short time last year, Herman Cain was the leading contender in the clown show they called the Republican primary. Stop to think about that for a moment. A majority of Republican voters believed that the best person to run their country was a know-nothing, self-promoting, grifter from Georgia.

It doesn’t get more telling than that.

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Filed Under: Conservative Media, Republikooks Tagged With: Herman Cain

Herman Cain – A Shyster’s Exit

December 4, 2011 By mario piperni

Here is how a cartoon character who said he wanted to be president ended his ridiculous campaign.

Closing a rambling press conference in Atlanta where he announced the suspension of his bid for the GOP presidential nomination, Cain said, “I believe these words came from the Pokémon movie. ‘Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It’s never easy when there’s so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference. There’s a mission just for you and me.’”

Pokemon. How fitting.

Not much more to say about Herman Cain which has not already been said. The man will either fade out into obscurity or continue to make a zillion dollars off people too simple and/or stupid to understand when their pockets are being picked by a con man. Whatever.

Bye Herman…and don’t forget to clamp shut that manhole cover on your way down.

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Filed Under: Jackass Tagged With: 2012 Republican primary, Herman Cain

Quote of the Day: Broken Political System

November 30, 2011 By mario piperni

A New York Time’s reader writes in response to the announcement that Herman Cain pledges to stay in the race:

Cain is living proof that if a carnival barker can run for President and get money and standing in the polls – the system is beyond broken.

It might be less a case of the system being broken than one of the system being warped beyond recognition by those with the power and ability to do so. How else does one explain that there are still people out there willing to part with their money to support Herman Cain. Does stupidity know no bounds?

I guess not…

“Look, a lot of people in office haven’t had the most squeaky clean morals — not that I’m saying there’s any truth to what’s been out there,” said Steve Fields, 48. “We’re looking for someone different to lead this country, and I think he’s the one to do it. I like his overall vision and especially the 9-9-9 tax plan.”

Pathetic.

Just read Cain’s response to being asked why he is the only candidate facing charges of sexual misconduct.

“…maybe I am the Democrat’s worst nightmare if I win the nomination. Maybe the Democrats want Gingrich to win the nomination so they can then go after his personal live but they need to knock me out now. That’s just a hypothesis.”

Good hypothesis, Herman. Yep, that’s definitely it. You. Dem’s worst nightmare. It all makes sense now.

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Filed Under: Politics 101 Tagged With: Herman Cain