Thanks to E.A. Blair for suggesting this wonderful new product...and illustration. We're planning on introducing more of your favorite wingers on Flakies boxes because...well, because every wingnut deserves the recognition.
From The Onion:
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The best of late night political humor via Daniel Kurtzman’s Political Humor.
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“And con men, like Rush and Beck, are one reason the Republicans are in such dire straits today because they don’t care about winning elections, they care about separating rubes from their money. They’ve discovered there is a fortune to be made by keeping a small portion of America under the illusion that they are always under attack from Mexicans, ACORN, or Planned Parenthood, or gays, or takers, global warming hoaxers. It doesn’t matter. They don’t want a majority, they want a mailing list. A list of the kind of gullible Honey Boo Boos out there who think there is a war on Christmas and that the socialist policies of our Kenyan president have been so disastrous that the end of the world is coming.”
If you missed Maher’s New Rules last week, take a listen. This one is a classic.
Damn evil progressives and their Bolshevik ways are preventing Glenn Beck from ever again wearing his Levi’s. Here’s what Beck had to say on his website.
It’s hard to believe that a company associated with America and working class values would use global revolutions and progressivism to sell their products, but that’s exactly what Levis is doing in their new commercials. Unfortunately, they aren’t even trying to disguise their efforts to commit to the progressive cause.
And he followed up with this on his radio show.
“I love Levi’s. I’ve loved them since I’m a kid. It’s my favorite jean. I don’t know why I don’t buy Levi’s all the time.”
“I am turning my red tabs in. I will not wear a pair of Levi’s.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this. I love Levi’s. Never again, Levi’s, never again will you get a dime from me. I know you’re not disappointed. Never again. I won’t wear your stupid red tab. The quintessential American piece of clothing doing this. Just for what? Because you just want to sell, because you want the controversy? I don’t think so. You believe it. You say you want your jeans to be the uniform of progress.”
“Nope. I’m not interested. Thank you.”
And all because of an ad campaign (Go Forth) Levi is running which showcases young people in all their majesty, including images of some protesting in the presence of riot police.
Upon hearing of Beck’s rant and boycott, these thoughts immediately entered my head.
a) Levi’s is a socialist propaganda machine?
b) How strange that Beck the Patriot would speak out against protest when the very country he adores was born by way of revolution.
c) Go out and immediately purchase two pairs of Levi’s as my personal way of saying, ‘F.U. Beck’.
d) Draw an illustration of Beck in his underwear. Why? Because I can.
The Illustration is done. I’ll take care of the purchase tomorrow. I thought the Levi ad was well done.
I try my best to avoid commenting on fools like Beck and Limbaugh but every now and then, they say something so unbelievably revolting and ridiculous, it’s just impossible to not fire back. Here’s Beck and his thoughts on Hurricane Irene.
“If you’ve waited [until now], this hurricane is a blessing. It is God reminding you, as was the earthquake last week…you’re not in control.”
Here’s the entire moronic rant. Beck goes on about an inevitable “global disruption in food” and sees Irene and last week’s earthquake as sure signs of validation for his prophecy.
Good one, Glenn. God wants to remind Americans to stock up on food and water so he sends down earthquakes and hurricanes to hammer the point into their silly little heads. That’s the same God, no doubt, whose name the right loves to invoke at every crisis. You know, the one who created the HIV/AIDS virus to remind the masses that homosexuality is a sin and the God who unleashed Katrina so he could teach those lazy black folk a lesson on personal responsibility.
If there’s one thing you can say about Beck’s God, it’s that he’s consistent. He appears to have few concerns about wiping out a few thousand or a few million lives if it helps him make a broader point. Just ask Noah. Nothing subtle about this God.
Of course it’s all nonsense. Whether one believes in the existence of God or not, referring to a hurricane which has the potential to kill thousands and and create billions of dollars in damage…to call this a blessing, is insanity. But hey, just like his God, Beck is consistent with his messaging as well – especially when there’s a dollar or two to be made from it. Here he is last October shilling away.
“I want to talk to you about the changing world that we live in. I want to talk to you about a company that I found called Food Insurance,” Beck says in a segment of his radio show featured on Food Insurance’s website. “We have health insurance, this is real food insurance.”
“I finished my food storage, and I couldn’t believe how relieved I was,” Beck continues. “I remember sitting down on the stairs of the basement and looking at it, and thinking ‘I could lose my job, and my family will eat.’ Sometimes guys don’t realize how much pressure is on them.”
“Do the easy stuff now,” Beck says, in conclusion. “Prepare yourself for what we all hope won’t happen, but probably will, if you’re not prepared. Thanks.”
If you check out the Food Insurance website, you’ll find Beck’s face and endorsement still up there, along with fellow right-wing charlatans Hannity, Ingraham and Savage. Surprise! Not only is Irene a blessing for Americans but it’s an extra blessing for Glenn Beck who gets to line his pockets at the expense of death and destruction. Wonderful.
“I don’t want to get weird on this, so please take it for what it’s worth, but it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power. It has been the symbol of our great nation, we look at that monument and we say this is one nation under God. Now there’s a crack in it.”
“Is that a sign from the Lord? Is that something that has significance, or is it just the result of an earthquake?” Robertson asked his viewers.
Definitely a sign form God because nothing says, “I’M WATCHING YOU, AMERICA!!!”, like a crack in a national monument.
CNN’s Fareed Zakaria came under attack by no other than Glenn Beck.
“He’s one of the useful idiots who’s being used by the Left to come against me.”
I didn’t think anyone could possibly use the words idiot and Zakaria in the same sentence regardless of political views. Fareed is one smart and informed dude. Beck proved me wrong.
I was having a chat with a someone the other day who was going on about Beck’s great intellect. The thought that came immediately to mind as this guy babbled on was the line, “an idiot is a genius to another idiot.” So true.