Deconstructing Tiger Woods

Posted by mario piperni On December - 21 - 2009

Tiger Woods  http://mariopiperni.com/

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On the shallowness of both Woods and his adoring fans…

No one mentions that this was one twisted, greedy human being from the get-go. Tiger Woods is what happens when you turn your child into a machine.

Pity his father, Earl Woods, is no longer around to see the destruction he has wrought. The infant who was on television putting against Bob Hope when he was 2 years old, the 3-year-old who shot 48 for nine holes, the teenager who stepped into a multi-million-dollar Nike contract before he won his first pro tournament, has finally broken out of the carefully constructed shell.

Predictably. What Tiger Woods, his father, his handlers and his sponsors failed to understand was the simplest of all truths: we are human. We are not robots.

The human Woods kept trying to break through the robot. We caught glimpses and they weren’t pleasant: The petulant child hurling his clubs and swearing when a shot goes awry. The swearing. The dirty, leering jokes.

The arrogant brat who does his famous drive-by every time he passes the autograph hounds waiting after round, refusing to do a Phil Mickelson and spend 15 minutes signing autographs for the adoring gallery.

The greedy walking corporation who made it eminently clear from the beginning that he didn’t care about the Asian sweatshop workers who were turning him into the wealthiest athlete on the planet. The American of mixed racial heritage who couldn’t care less about politics at home, where people of colour have suffered and bled for 300 years.

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In two or three years (if not sooner) most of this will be forgotten. Woods will be divorced, he’ll have as many mistresses as he wants, he’ll go back to winning majors, raking in millions and endorsing half the products on the planet. Why will he get away with it? Because sports fans want someone to worship, and the bottom line is that they don’t care if the man inside is worse than Tony Soprano.

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…he’s not a hero. Never has been, never will be. Because for openers, if you’re not a hero to your own family, you’re nothing.

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8 Responses to “Deconstructing Tiger Woods”

  1. Norma Newell says:

    I am told by one highly opinionated son. “It’s not a sport is there is no defense” and “Golfers and bowlers are not athletes.” Other wise I am sure he would agree 100%. I do prefer a defense; like Marcus Trufant, Julian Peterson, Darrell Tapp, and Dick Butkus types. Put them out there on the golf course to knock the balls away and tackle the golfers and I’ll get excited.

  2. Jovial says:

    He was an enigma. We found out that the flesh was mightier than his golf balls. That money to him was to fail his wife and conquer other stupidities.

    Sports will always guarantee a good fight but in itself is not a guarantor of character.

  3. Zenith says:

    Jovial. Unfortunately for Tiger, his balls turned out to be mightier than everything else in his life.

  4. Tommy Pane says:

    So, those who run the Ironman aren’t athletes? Many of the original Olympic games were competitive only in terms of time and distance. Gravity and the natural elements are the defense.

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  6. azannaphx says:

    Tiger grew up in a bubble that most people who have been celebrities from childhood grow up in. There has never been anything normal about what happens to these people when they get up every day. As children, they do not learn socialization through their playmates. They do not attend public or even private schools; they are tutored at home. They have adult jobs with children’s minds. I am not surprised when I hear that someone that has grown up in such a bubble takes a huge fall.

    I just hope that when he gets up, he can make the changes in his life to get some perspective on humanity and who he wants to become as a person. He has given a lot of his money to very noble causes – St Jude’s Children’s Hospital and a built a school for disadvantaged children to name a few. I wish him a complete personal recovery.

  7. Frances says:

    I neither dislike him nor support him in his current situation. It’s easy to construct a paper tiger and tear it up. He’s doing a pretty good job of self-destructing and I think that all he wants is for people to leave him alone and do just that. The tabloids smelled blood in the water and in a feeding frenzy have gone for the kill. It’s what they do. It’s what they are proud to do. I don’t have the stomach for it. It is really just fodder for the least common denominator of society.

    @azannaphx Tiger graduated from Western High School in Aneheim, CA and attended Standford University for two years.

  8. Dan Speers says:

    Winter rules Tiger probably eschews,
    And ball bumping he’s not likely to choose.

    http://www.CitizenPoet.com