Republican Politics

Republican’s Seven Dwarfs

June 15, 2011 By mario piperni

It can’t be easy being a Republican these days. Their hate for everything Obama is overwhelming and the thought of another four years of the Kenyan socialist Muslim in office is killing them. Their desperation fueled by the hate-mongering liars over at Fox and their conservative allies in print and radio, their only salvation lies in finding a candidate with the right stuff – one with the intellect, charisma and political know-how to take down the black guy sitting in the White House.

So who do they have? Well, based on Monday’s GOP debate, they have little more than a pathetic cast of clowns and has-beens who have little chance at this point of swaying independents over to their side. Bachmann? Really? Who aside from diehard conservatives would consider voting for a candidate with an IQ slightly higher than Sarah Palin’s? How about the Islamophobic simpleton, Herman Cain? Not in this lifetime unless the key to rescuing the economy is in selling more pizzas. Gingrich? A 90s relic with the moral fiber of a snake who repulses liberals and conservatives alike.

How about Rick Santorum, the gay-bashing pompous moralist who has no qualms in dictating the proper way to live one’s life…perhaps he’s the Republican savior? Don’t think so. Googling ‘santorum’ is all you need to know about this guy.

Ron Paul? Perhaps, if you’re looking for a guy who for every decent idea he expresses, shouts out another 8 unworkable, crackpot ideas that all begin with the word “constitution”.

Pawlenty? One word…who?

And then we come to Mitt Romney, a man who was best portrayed by a cartoon showing his face with a number of mouths, each one saying, “Stop me when I say something you like.” The unfortunate thing about Romney is that there was a time when he would have made a decent right of center president – a true moderate conservative. No longer. As a member of a party pulling ever further to the extreme right, there no longer is room for moderates of any kind. What you end up with is the new Mitt Romney – the flip-flopping king who finds himself forced to downplay his successes as Governor because none of it jives with today’s extreme conservative ideology.

As I said, it can’t be easy being a Republican these days.

Filed Under: Republican Politics Tagged With: 2012, Republicans

The Debate Wrap Up

June 14, 2011 By mario piperni

The first Republican debate is over and the overwhelming consensus is that Mitt Romney walked away with his front-runner status intact.

Ezra Klein used only 14 words to sum up the GOP event.

Romney won. Bachmann surged. Cain disappointed. Pawlenty whiffed. Gingrich slept. Santorum fretted. Paul scolded.

Andrew Sullivan used up a few more words to basically say the same.

Ron Paul? The schtick is wearing thin. Pawlenty? Somewhat lost. Gingrich? Petulent and extremist. Cain? Charming but not serious. Romney? Very polished and authoritative. Santorum? Tight-assed. Bachmann? Compelling, more intelligent than Palin, but still too far to the extreme to appeal to the middle.

All in all, the evening was uneventful save for Tim Pawlenty’s act of cowardice. Last Sunday on Fox News, he took a swipe at Mitt Romney when he referred to the Affordable Care Act as ObamneyCare – a clear indication that he viewed the President’s health care reform measures as nothing more than a rehash of Romney’s Massachusetts reforms. When given the opportunity to defend his statement with Romney in his presence, Pawlenty retreated like a frightened turtle, refusing to repeat his criticism directly to Romney. It’s still early in the game but I wouldn’t be putting any money on Pawlenty winning this thing. Republicans prefer candidates with a more blood and guts approach to battle.
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It should be noted that Bachmann did not come off as badly as one would have expected. But then again, when one is starting at the bottom of the heap in regards to performance expectation, just showing up at the event was a plus. As for Herman Cain, there really is nothing there. For all of his bravado and no-nonsense demeanor, the man has little to contribute in terms of real solutions for real problems. Repeating the same refrain (cut taxes) as the answer to every issue facing the nation is ridiculous. The only substantial thing Cain said last night was that he prefers deep dish pizza to the thin crust variety. This guy ain’t going anywhere.

So at this point in the primary, it’s all Romney but I imagine that’s going to change down the road as the gloves come off and the fight heats up. Romney’s got some serious baggage for the other’s to pick at – RomneyCare, flip-flops on abortion and gay rights, his job record as Massachusetts governor, his stance on climate change – to say nothing of the Tea Party’s vow to fight him all the way.

But for now, Romney’s the man.

Filed Under: Republican Politics Tagged With: 2012 primary, debate, mitt romney

The GOP’s Best of the Best Face Off Tonight

June 13, 2011 By mario piperni

Here we go. The Republican primary begins in earnest tonight with the first real debate among the GOP’s top contenders. The big guns, Romney, Bachmann and Gingrich, will all be on hand as will a support cast of intellects and scholars who will no doubt give the top three a run for their money – Tim Pawlenty, Ron Paul, Herman Cain and the ever lovable, Rick Santorum. It’s going to be beautiful.

I was looking for some great historical event which I could use to compare to tonight’s illustrious showcase – something which would do it justice in terms of the pure genius which will be on display tonight. Bachmann, Cain, Pawlenty and Santorum on the same stage, at the same time. Can you believe it? If there was a way to harness the brain power of these four intellectual virtuosos, surely there would be enough raw energy present to light up a 15 watt lightbulb – maybe even a 20 watt bulb! Wow.

So, what event do I use to compare to tonight’s event? Well, TPM found one for us.

Not since the first head-to-CPU contest between Gary Kasparov and Deep Blue has the world waited so breathlessly for the kind of battle of the minds we’re likely to witness Monday evening.

Perfect, because like you, when I’m thinking Bachmann, I’m thinking supercomputers, I’m thinking lightning fast processing speeds and I’m thinking megaminds unlike political debate has ever seen before.

Get out the popcorn, sit back and be ready to have the best of the best put on a show tonight which will blow our little minds away.

Filed Under: Republican Politics Tagged With: 2012, Primary

God – Political Junkie

June 10, 2011 By mario piperni

Glenn Church over at Foolocracy takes an interesting look at how God has been so concerned about the state of politics in the U.S. that he has taken it upon himself to personally back a number of high profile Republican candidates in the race to become the leader of the free world. The problem appears to be that in doing so, God is sending a mixed message. Glenn explains.

If we listen to the candidates for president, then God has made his selection on who He wants for the most powerful position in the world. Unfortunately, God is giving the voters multiple choices or else He is hedging his bets.

About half the Republican field has informed the world that God has instructed them to run.

True. While Sarah Palin still awaits the final go-ahead from God (they are speaking, though), Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum have all reported that God has taken time from his busy schedule to personally “tug at their hearts” and ask them to run.

Bachmann got the calling to run for Congress…

“God then called me to run for the United States Congress. And I thought, what in the world would that be for? And my husband said, “You need to do this.”

And God was so pleased with her work as a Congresswoman, that he’s asked her to go after the whole enchilada and become the next president of the United States.

“Well, every decision that I make, I pray about, as does my husband, and I can tell you, yes, I’ve had that calling and that tugging on my heart that this is the right thing to do.”

Well, good for her. But I wonder if she’s aware that God has also asked Rich Santorum to run. Santorum’s wife, Karen…

“It really boils down to God’s will. What is it that God wants? … We have prayed a lot about this decision, and we believe with all our hearts that this is what God wants.”

Wow, that seems to be bit of a problem. God must not be aware that there can only be one Republican president at a time. But wait, it gets worse. Apparently God has also given the word to Herman Cain.

“Do you know that had to be God?…I believe that God was speaking to me through my granddaughter. That this is something that I have got to at least explore and that’s what I am doing by the grace of God and with the strength of God.”

Gulp. It’s starting to get messy. Three Republican presidents all serving at the same time?

What?!!? And God spoke to Newt Gingrich too? Here’s a couple of statements from the Newt.

“That will be up to God, and the American people.”

and…

“If you truly try to understand what God wants, and truly try to do what God wants, that has to impact how you behave.”

Amazing. But what about Tim Pawlenty? Has God spoken to him too? Well, yes, and no. For unknown reasons, God has chosen to get the word out to Pawlenty through his campaign manager, Nick Ayers, instead.

“Over the past six months, I have prayed deeply about my purpose in life and how best to utilize the talents God has given me. I wanted my decision to be wholly about how best to serve Him, not what was most politically or financially expedient for my family and me. As He often does in walks of faith, He has called me to a higher purpose. I believe that our Nation is truly on the wrong path. We need a new direction that is positive and hopeful. Simply said, we need new leadership. I believe that Governor Pawlenty is best positioned to provide that leadership.”

I’m totally confused here. If God is the infallible, all mighty being we’re told he is, then how in heaven’s name can he anoint five Republicans and tell them all they’re the Chosen One? What is God up to? Glenn has a possible explanation.

Oddly, the candidates who claim the strongest backing of God stumble the worst in the polls against Barack Obama. That raises the possibility that if God is calling for Bachman, Gingrich, Pawlenty, Santorum, Cain and possibly Palin to run for president, then maybe He is secretly an Obama supporter. Each of them would be creamed in 2012, God’s blessing or not.

I always suspected God might be a Dem. Good one, Glenn.

BTW, if you haven’t checked out Glenn’s website, Foolocracy, you should. It’s always a fun and interesting read.

Filed Under: Religion, Republican Politics Tagged With: 2012 Republican primary, god

Bye-bye, Newt

June 9, 2011 By mario piperni

It could not have happened to a nicer guy.

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s presidential campaign imploded Thursday afternoon with his entire senior staff resigning en masse, according to multiple sources familiar with the moves.

“When the campaign and the candidate disagree on the path, they’ve got to part ways,” said Rick Tyler, a longtime Gingrich spokesman who was among those who left the campaign.

Gingrich says he will continue his run but it’s all over for the has-been. His horrible campaign launch a few weeks back left him newtered and dead in the water, not that he had much of a chance anyway. Gingrich carried too much baggage to ever be considered a serious candidate for Republicans.

More interesting is the speculation that Texas Gov. Rick Perry will soon be entering the race. Two of the people resigning from the Gingrich team are former aides to Perry and might very well have decided that hitching a ride with a better pony is a good career move.

I hope you’re all enjoying the three ring circus the Republican primary has evolved into. I know I am.

Filed Under: Republican Politics Tagged With: 2012, newt gingrich