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Via Political Humor, some of the funnier material from the year.

”Of course, a lot of right wingers are very upset about this because they believe this health care bill will cost a lot of money. You know what I think? Just pretend it’s another unnecessary war. You’ll feel better about it already.” —Jay Leno

”Sarah Palin is joining Fox News. The new slogan is ‘hair and unbalanced.”’ —David Letterman

”One of John McCain’s former top campaign aides says that when he talked to Sarah Palin after McCain picked her to be his running mate, she said it was ‘God’s plan.’ So, apparently, God wanted Obama to win.” —Jay Leno

”Some critics are saying that Palin won’t last on Fox because she’s an over-emotional woman who gets the facts wrong. But I disagree. It’s working great for Glenn Beck, so she’ll be fine.” —Craig Ferguson

”In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, ‘If you want to go forward you put your car in ‘D.’ If you want to go backward, you put your car in ‘R.” But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F’d.” —Jay Leno

”What a day for the tea party people. Did you see that? America’s parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down, but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally.” —Bill Maher

Jon Stewart on News Corp donating $1 million to the GOP: ”This is a travesty. I really think, if anything, the Republicans should be paying FOX News millions and millions of dollars.”

”Maybe Sarah Palin would be smarter if she had bigger hands.” —Jimmy Kimmel, on Sarah Palin’s hand notes

”Sarah Palin’s also getting criticized because last week she demanded that Obama’s chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, step down because he used the word retarded. But then, Rush Limbaugh did the same thing on his radio show, and that, she said, was O.K. Unfortunately, she’s been unable to respond to the criticism because she’s wearing mittens.” —Jimmy Kimmel

”In Delaware, former Republican governor Mike Castle was defeated by Sarah Palin favorite Christine O’Donnell. Nobody knows what Christine O’Donnell does for a living, if anything. All we do know is that she’s gone on the record to oppose masturbation, for real. I have a feeling Christine O’Donnell opposes masturbation the same way Bristol Palin opposes pre-marital sex.” —Jimmy Kimmel

”Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me eight times, I must be a f**king idiot.” —Jon Stewart, on the last eight presidents vowing to end America’s addiction to foreign oil

”In a new interview, BP’s CEO said that the Gulf Coast oil spill is relatively tiny compared to the ‘very big ocean.’ That’s like telling someone who’s just been shot not to worry about the bullet because they’re really, really fat.” —Jimmy Fallon

”Well, folks, Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions, impaired her thinking, and she’s hoping that the effects will eventually wear off.” —Jay Leno

”How to describe Rand Paul? I mean, he’s a doctor. It’s as if Sarah Palin somehow made it through medical school.” —Bill Maher

”Today we found out that a third college Christine O’Donnell said she attended has no record of ever knowing her. I’m starting to wonder if she ever really went to Hogwarts.” —Bill Maher

”Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you’re trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you’re one president too late.” —David Letterman

”John McCain said that there will be no cooperation from Republicans for the rest of the year. So that should be good for the country. What a shame to see all that cooperating end, you know? This is like the coyote announcing he’s no longer cooperating with the road runner.” —Jimmy Kimmel

Beep. Beep.
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