Late Night Political Humor

Happy Friday. The best from Political Humor‘s collection of the week’s late night political humor.

“Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal announced that he is supporting Mitt Romney for president. Jindal said he couldn’t think of a better way to show his support than waiting until Romney was the only guy left.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Another strange story from Arizona. A bill signed by the governor would declare a woman to be pregnant two weeks before conception. So congratulations, ladies, you are all Arizona pregnant.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Florida congressman Allen West made an interesting statement yesterday. He believes there are about 78 to 81 members of the Democratic Party who are members of the Communist Party. Really? I think it’s time for someone to lay off the Tom Clancy novels.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Rick Santorum has dropped out of the race. He wanted to ban gambling and outlaw pornography. And this is a guy who claims Romney is out of touch with America.” –David Letterman

“After dropping out of the GOP race, Rick Santorum emailed his supporters to ask for help paying off his campaign debt. So if you believe in his message of responsible spending and no handouts, just give him a handout to cover all his irresponsible spending.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Now that Santorum is out of the race, that leaves Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul out there vying for the crackpot vote.” –David Letterman

“Because Mitt Romney is a Mormon he can actually have several vice presidents. Did you know that?” –David Letterman

“Today was the annual White House Easter Egg Roll – or, as the Republicans call it, ‘President Obama’s Socialist Egg Redistribution Program.’” –Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney had an Easter egg hunt at his house as well. Although he does it a little bit differently; he hides money offshore and then the kids hunt for the nest of eggs. They go to Caymans, they go to Switzerland… they travel all over.” –Jay Leno

“Newt Gingrich says he still has a chance. He say people walk up to him all the time and beg him to stay in the presidential race. It’s a group of people known as Democrats.” –Conan O’Brien

“Newt looks like the guy at your class reunion you don’t recognize.” –David Letterman

“Mitt Romney has spent $53 million on ads, and Rick Santorum has spent $9 million. Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich drew a poster with his name on it and showed up in the background of the ‘Today’ show.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Thirty thousand kids and their parents participated in the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, which has been going on for years. At this point there has to be thousands of undiscovered Easter eggs on the lawn of the White House. Future civilizations will think we were ruled by chickens.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Happy Holiday weekend! This, of course, is both Passover and Easter. In fact, did you see what Romney did tonight? I think he’s trying too hard to get votes; he went to a Seder dressed as the Easter bunny.” –Jay Leno


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