The dueling conventions are over and there’s no doubt that Dems won the contest hands down. It’s now crunch time where big money and desperation take over. With two months to go and Republicans trailing Dems in most swing states, it’s about to go up a notch or two on the ugly scale.
Perfect time to take a breather and check out what the late night guys are saying with the best from Political Humor‘s compilation of the week’s political humor.
Happy Friday.
“In his speech last night, San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro said that Mitt Romney has no idea how good he’s had it. I don’t think that’s true. I think Mitt Romney knows how good he’s had it. He just doesn’t want us to know how good he’s had it.” –Jay Leno
“Last week at the Republican convention, no one mentioned the Tea Party. And listen to this, if it wasn’t for Ann Romney, no one at the Republican convention would have mentioned Mitt.” –David Letterman
“Michelle Obama said the first car Barack picked her up in was so old, you could see ground below them. Today, Ann Romney said the same thing about Mitt’s first helicopter.” –Conan O’Brien
“First lady Michelle Obama is receiving praise for the speech she gave last night at the Democratic National Convention. Everyone was impressed. Even Fox News called it ‘not the worst.’” –Jimmy Fallon
“Much like the Republicans, the Democrats are also going to have a mystery speaker. I believe it’s Mitt Romney’s dog.” –Jay Leno
“Chuck Norris said that if President Obama is re-elected it will lead ‘to a thousand years of darkness.’ Then he said if Mitt Romney wins, it will lead to four years of extreme whiteness.” –Conan O’Brien
“First the good news: Louisiana, knee-deep in water, but this time, the levees held from the big hurricane. That’s good. However, Tampa, Florida this week nearly drowned in bulls**t.” –Bill Maher
“Ann Romney was appealing to women for the women’s vote, and she said she was living proof that if you work hard and apply yourself, there is nothing you can’t marry.” –Bill Maher
“If your party can run the nation for eight years, and then have a national convention and not invite Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Karl Rove or Tom DeLay, you’re not a political movement. You’re the witness protection program.” –Bill Maher
“How can we trust Republicans with the future, when, as far as I can tell from Tampa, the world ended the year Reagan left office? Like, in 1988, we just all fell into a deep sleep listening to ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me,’ and when we woke up Monday morning, Obama and his negro army had wrecked the joint.” –Bill Maher
“This is where Clint Eastwood has done a huge favor to us all. Because the Republican Party’s irrationality, that they’ve worked so hard at the convention trying to conceal, was unleashed in a 12-minute improvised avant-garde performance of One Angry Men. Eastwood finally revealed the cognitive dissonance that is the beating heart and soul and fiction of this party! He’s so far gone, they’re hammering Obama for things Bush did, and Romney is!” –Jon Stewart
“Clint Eastwood came out at the Republican convention and did ten minutes of wingnut improv. It was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican party — a confused old person yelling at something that doesn’t’ exist.” –Bill Maher
“I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe, bear so little resemblance to the world and the President that I experience. And now I know why. There is a President Obama that only Republicans can see.” –Jon Stewart on Clint Eastwood’s “invisible Obama” speech at the Republican convention
“The Republican Convention decided not to show a hologram of Ronald Reagan for fear it would overshadow Mitt Romney. It’s never a good sign when your candidate is in danger of being over shadowed by something that technically doesn’t make a shadow.” –Conan O’Brien
“I always like how the politicians show how that they’re just regular guys. Like Obama says he likes to have a beer with people. And Romney said, when it comes to shopping, he chooses Costco. In fact, last week, he bought three of them.” –Jay Leno
“Tonight is the last night, the final night of the Republican convention. Tonight is the swimsuit competition.” –Conan O’Brien
Sorry. I couldn’t resist.
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This comment really hit home with me. I can’t understand the hatred some people have for our President — he’s done nothing but spread worldwide goodwill and work tirelessly for the recovery and betterment of the country since he took office, and no President I can remember has set a finer example of a great father and family man. Comments from people like Chuck Norris and Hank Williams, Jr. truly boggle my mind. :(
Karen…racism as practiced by the right, has been using code and code words to spread their hate and ignorance. Racism is real, and IS the republican party. I live in a heavily republican area, and the meme here is the N***** must go. I have lost faith in my neighbors, my ex-coworkers. They are not going to see the truth no matter how hard one tries. Racism, greed, and following “false prophets” of this theocratic trend, is like a fever that won’t break.
Mario…your Chuckie boy is “fabulous”.
I know you are right, Robert, but what a sad commentary on humankind when people can be that narrowminded, shallow, ugly, and ignorant. Until President Obama took office, I thought this country had made great strides in their thinking about race issues, but now I can plainly see that we haven’t come far enough. Hopefully, younger generations will not pass on the hatred of the past and future generations will be more accepting of our country’s growing diversity.