This should have been posted on Friday in its regular slot. Messed up but I’m sure the humor holds up for a day. The best from Political Humor‘s collection of the week’s late night political humor.
Happy Friday Saturday.
“Did you all watch the Republican convention last night? It’s good to see scripted television finally making a comeback.” –Jay Leno
“Ann Romney spoke last night. I thought she was quite eloquent. Analysts say her role was to show that Mitt has a tender side. And then the Romney family dog gave the rebuttal.” –Jay Leno
“Hurricane Isaac turned out to be not much of a threat to the Republican convention. But to their credit, the Republicans had a contingency plan. If the hurricane did hit hard, delegates were instructed to evacuate to Mitt Romney’s tax shelter.” –Jay Leno
“I thought Mitt Romney’s wife Ann did a good job at the Republican convention. During her speech, she said after they got married, she and Mitt lived in a basement. It was a 2-room basement on the French Riviera.” –Conan O’Brien
“John McCain was at the convention. He just wandered out on stage in his bathrobe.” –David Letterman
“According to a poll released last week, Mitt Romney has zero percent of the black vote. In fact, if it weren’t for John Boehner, Romney wouldn’t have any support from people of color at all.” –Jay Leno
“According to The New York Times, Iraq now loves American fast food. They hate us but they love our fast food. This is how we work. We force democracy on them and then we sneak in morbid obesity.” –David Letterman
“A group of coal miners in Ohio said that their bosses forced them to attend a Mitt Romney campaign event. You know you’re boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak.” –Conan O’Brien
“Chris Christie was on stage for 16 minutes before he says Romney’s name. He’s on the stage for 30 seconds and he mentions Breyer’s ice cream.” –David Letterman
“Chris Christie will be delivering a 45-minute speech. Usually When Chris Christie talks for 45 minutes, it’s into the clown face at Jack In The Box’ –David Letterman
“Herman Cain was in Tampa. When a reporter asked him if Isaac reminded him of Katrina, he said, ‘I never even met the woman.’” –Jay Leno
“It seems the GOP has placed 13,000 umbrellas in bins outside the hall for people to use. Delegates can’t bring them inside for security reasons, so after you use the umbrella, you drop it off for the next person to use. That sounds like creeping socialism.” –Jay Leno
“This is my favorite statistic so far. According to a new poll, Mitt Romney is at zero percent among African American voters. And I don’t think the GOP slogan at convention is helping any: ‘See what white can do for you.’” –Jay Leno
“According to a new poll, Mitt Romney is at zero percent among African Americans. Here’s the sad part: That’s up 5 percent from last week.” –Jay Leno
“Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan had a campaign event at an apple orchard… There was one awkward moment when they told the granny smiths they were considering cutting their Medicare.” –Jimmy Fallon
___
Follow MarioPiperniDotCom on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.
.
All is forgiven — these jewels were worth the wait!!