The best from Political Humor‘s collection of the week’s late night political humor.
Happy Friday.
“Mitt Romney has a new fundraising gimmick. If you donate $3 or more to his campaign, your name will be entered into a drawing to win a dinner with Mitt Romney and Donald Trump. If you donate more than $10, you get to sit at a different table.” –Jay Leno
“Mitt Romney wants to prove he’s regular guy, so he was someplace and he ordered a bucket of pheasant McNuggets.” –David Letterman
“President Obama has a new ad that hits Mitt Romney’s business career by calling him an ‘outsourcer-in-chief.’ Romney responded with an ad of his own — made by an excellent company in India.” –Jimmy Fallon
“The latest rumor is that Mitt Romney’s running mate will be a white male from Ohio. Or as Romney refers to him, ‘a person of color.’” –Conan O’Brien
“Today Joe Biden said the only place Mitt Romney has created jobs is in China. This has sparked an angry rebuttal from Romney spokesperson Wen Cheng-Bao.” –Conan O’Brien
“Obama called Romney a pioneer of outsourcing jobs. A spokesperson for Romney said, ‘I dare him to come to India and say that to my face.’” –Conan O’Brien
“Political candidates have to be very inventive when it comes to fund-raising because there are federal laws. So Mitt Romney had a thing where if you would give him $50,000 you could spend the weekend with him. And for an extra $5,000 he will let you touch his hair.” –David Letterman
“Scientists say over the next hundred years, the coast of California will sink almost five feet. So the presidential candidates need to do something. Mitt Romney is conflicted. On one hand, he denies that global warming exists. But if California is under water, he would definitely win the next election.” –Craig Ferguson
“President Obama would be affected too. Because if there’s no more Hawaii, where would he pretend to be born?” –Craig Ferguson
“A new survey found that only 31 percent of Americans would want to sit next to Mitt Romney on a flight. Romney was so upset, he was like, ‘I don’t understand. How would they get on my private jet?’” –Jimmy Fallon
“A House committee is now recommending that Attorney General Eric Holder be cited for contempt of Congress. Now, don’t confuse that for what you and I have. That’s contempt FOR Congress.” –Jay Leno
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(The Romney source photograph is a Creative Commons licensed image from photographer Gage Skidmore.)
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