The best from Political Humor‘s collection of the week’s late night political humor.
Happy Friday
“With the presidential debates right around the corner, John Kerry is going to play Mitt Romney to help the President prepare for the debates. That’s kind of a stretch; a rich white guy from Massachusetts playing a rich white guy from Massachusetts.” –Jay Leno
“How does that make John Kerry feel? Hey John, we need a guy who is kind of stiff, out of touch, and a flip-flopper. You’d be perfect. Just be yourself.” –Jay Leno
“Last night on the premiere of a new reality show, Bristol Palin confronted a man in a bar and demanded to know why he hates her mother. In response, John McCain said ‘Leave me alone, I’m having a drink.’” –Conan O’Brien
“Obama went to Ground Zero. He went up in the new skyscraper being built in the shadow of the World Trade Center, and he inscribed one of the steel beams. He wrote, ‘We remember, we rebuild, we come back stronger.’ Which was very poignant, especially since Bush had written on it, ‘We got hit, I sat in a chair, I peed my pants.’ And he misspelled chair.” –Bill Maher
“Obama campaign unveils new ad to target Hispanics. It’s basically the president saying, “Yo soy el hombre who killed Osama bin Laden.” –Conan O’Brien
“Over the weekend President Obama issued an order that allows some illegal immigrants to stay in the country. Or as Fox News reported it, ‘Obama issues order allowing himself to stay in the country.’” –Conan O’Brien
“Mitt Romney said Obama is ignoring the real issues with illegals, which is that they keep blowing the grass clippings into his pool.” –Bill Maher
“Happy Flag Day. Flag Day is the day in which we honor the symbol of our nation and the 8-year-old Chinese kids who make them for us for a nickel apiece.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“For the first time in history, the number of Asian immigrants coming into America is larger than the number of Hispanic immigrants. Now even our immigrants are being made in China.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Both Romney and Obama were in Ohio giving dueling speeches on the economy. Before Obama’s speech, Romney’s bus starts circling the Obama site honking their horns in the parking lot. They would have actually stayed and done it longer, but Mitt had to get back to his site to give his speech about how we need to put the grownups back in charge.” –Bill Maher
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