The best from Political Humor‘s collection of the week’s late night political humor.
Happy Friday
“The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists’ team and lost 25-3. Still no word yet on which side President Obama played for.” –Jay Leno
“China is now preparing to send their first woman into outer space. Which at first seems like a feminist breakthrough until you realize she doesn’t want to go.” –Jay Leno
“According to The New York Times, Mexican drug cartels launder millions and million of dollars through horse races. I hate to see something like betting on horses become corrupt and seedy? What’s next, boxing?” –Jay Leno
“President Obama is going to a fundraiser at Sarah Jessica Parker’s house. It will be a formal, sit-down dinner for 200 in her shoe closet.” –Conan O’Brien
“Have you seen this video that’s gone viral of Mitt Romney having trouble trying to recognize a chocolate donut? It’s all over the web. At first he said, ‘Is that Beluga caviar on a bagel? What is that?’ That’s why he needs Chris Christie as his vice president. If anyone can identify a donut, it’s Chris Christie.” –Jay Leno
David Letterman’s “Top Ten Other Ways Mitt Romney Describes Doughnuts”
10. Powdered Snack Cylinders
9. Dessert Bagels
8. Leavened Batter Globules
7. Sugary Pastry Tires
6. Perforated Strudel Orbs
5. Saturated Fat Wheels
4. Dunking Muffins
3. Glazed Giddy-Ups
2. Chris Christie Kremes
1. The Cadillac of Pastries“Mitt Romney visited a restaurant in Iowa, and had trouble thinking of the word for donut. Newt Gingrich merely responded, ‘That never would have happened if I were the nominee.’” –Jimmy Fallon
“A new book claims President Obama smoked a lot of marijuana while in college. And in a related story to boost his street cred, Mitt Romney admitted he was once hooked on phonics.” –Jay Leno
“Mitt Romney is going on a six-state bus tour. Mitt is very excited because he’s never been on a bus.” –David Letterman
“Mitt Romney just released a new campaign ad about the economy featuring out-of-work Americans. It gets weird at the end when he says, ‘I’m Mitt Romney, and I fired all these people.’” –Jimmy Fallon
“Last month Mitt Romney raised $76 million. He found it in an old sport-coat pocket.” –David Letterman
“The last time I did a late-night show in Chicago, my guest was an up-and-coming senator called Barack Obama. And now just six short years later, he’s gone on to become a socialist Muslim from Kenya.” –Conan O’Brien
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