John Liming takes a satirical look at the Chick-Fil-A episode.
As far as I can tell, there is not one word in the Bible that specifically prohibits chickens from either marrying, having multiple wives or entering into a Gay Marriage.
I am certain, in my own mind however, that if chickens do enter into Gay Marriages they will have one of two possible consequences: (1) They will live in seclusion from the rest of the chickens and live happily ever after or (2) Some super religious folks will discover their union and condemn them to the fast food sector where they will never be seen or heard from again.
Which brings us now to a discussion about that institution that many “Christians” (The delusional ones in my view) like to refer to as “Traditional” marriage which is often defined as “The Holy union of one man and one woman.” Yes, that is supposed to be “Traditional” marriage as far as many of the myth informed are concerned.
So how is “Traditional” marriage handled by “The Book” itself?
In The King James Bible, I have discovered that many of the figures that God Himself considered to be as Holy as the day is long were polygamists – - – they had not just “One” wife which is the standard of some of the Christian Hypocrites, (And some who may not be hypocrites but which might just a little confused or some of those would rather “Stand” on The Word of God instead of reading it.) — but some of those really Holy dudes indeed had “Many” wives.
God didn’t seem to have a problem with that because nowhere in the Bible can one find where God specifically condemns the practice of marrying multiple wives.
By the same token, there is not a single reference in the entire Bible as far as I can tell (Which has not been twisted or revised by some religious Rightie somewhere that is) that even discusses the subject of “Gay Marriage” much less condemns it.
I believe all this crap about how God hates the idea of Gay Marriage is just something made up by the intolerant and the bigoted and the super-morally superior who have got to have it all their way or it is the highway.
Look who was the proud supporter of several wives (All at the same time, by the way) in The Babble:
Abraham, King David (A man after God’s own heart as you might recall), Jacob (The ladder guy), Moses (The man with the magic wand that split seas on command), Saul (The king who went insane)(His wives must have really been something else to drive him nuts like that, eh?) and Solomon (The wisest man who ever lived.)
I can see the logic in the last one: Old Solomon apparently knew how to have a good time and he was absolutely a God-Approved individual according to the “Book” itself in which there is never a lie nor a shadow of turning nor any darkness whatsoever.
Yes! I get the impression that wise old Solomon was not only a Holy party guy but he might have been something of a rounder as well.
So now the flaming Righties are going to gnash their teeth and rend their garments and tell me all about how wrong I am, how I am twisting the Scriptures and how those things were all done away with after Jesus came to Earth.
So, were all these old practices, traditions and laws annulled by the advent of Jesus Christ?
Jesus answers that Himself and the answer is a blazing, absolutely certain, immutable and irrevocable “No!” He did not do away with anything commanded in the Old Testament at all including the multiple marriages.
Check out Luke Chapter 16, verse 17 in The New Testament where Jesus speaks: “And it is easier for Heaven and Earth to pass, than one tittle of the Law to fail.”
O.K., if that isn’t enough to rattle some Rightie cages, let’s look at Matthew Chapter 5, verses 17-18 where Jesus speaks again: “Think not that I am come to destroy the Law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till Heaven and Earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, til all be fulfilled.”
So much for the popular Rightie definition of “Traditional Marriage,” eh?
In the Bible, “Traditional Marriage” meant as many women as one could live with and support, as many concubines as one could entice and as many lovers hidden away in dark recesses of palatial palaces that income could sustain.
Sorry, Righties! You lose!
So, don’t be chicken! Get off the hypocritical high horse, make the decision that you are not God and get out there and honor the Jesus you say you serve by showing a little love, understanding, compassion and acceptance of those who might be a little different that you are.
That is the really “Christian” thing to do.
John publishes The Liming Liberal Democrat.