Religion and The Great Chicken Marriage Thing

Chick-fil-a Chicken Gay     :

John Liming takes a satirical look at the Chick-Fil-A episode.


As far as I can tell, there is not one word in the Bible that specifically prohibits chickens from either marrying, having multiple wives or entering into a Gay Marriage.

I am certain, in my own mind however, that if chickens do enter into Gay Marriages they will have one of two possible consequences: (1) They will live in seclusion from the rest of the chickens and live happily ever after or (2) Some super religious folks will discover their union and condemn them to the fast food sector where they will never be seen or heard from again.

Which brings us now to a discussion about that institution that many “Christians” (The delusional ones in  my view) like to refer to as “Traditional” marriage which is often defined as “The Holy union of one man and one woman.”  Yes, that is supposed to be “Traditional” marriage as far as many of the myth informed are concerned.

So how is “Traditional” marriage handled by “The Book” itself?

In The King James Bible, I have discovered that many of the figures that God Himself considered to be as Holy as the day is long were polygamists – – – they had not just “One” wife which is the standard of some of the Christian Hypocrites, (And some who may not be hypocrites but which might just a little confused or some of those would rather “Stand” on The Word of God instead of reading it.) — but some of those really Holy dudes indeed had “Many” wives.

God didn’t seem to have a problem with that because nowhere in the Bible can one find where God specifically condemns the practice of marrying multiple wives.

By the same token, there is not a single reference in the entire Bible as far as I can tell (Which has not been twisted or revised by some religious Rightie somewhere that is) that even discusses the subject of “Gay Marriage” much less condemns it.

I believe all this crap about how God hates the idea of Gay Marriage is just something made up by the intolerant and the bigoted and the super-morally superior who have got to have it all their way or it is the highway.

Look who was the proud supporter of several wives (All at the same time, by the way) in The Babble:

Abraham, King David (A man after God’s own heart as you might recall), Jacob (The ladder guy), Moses (The man with the magic wand that split seas on command), Saul (The king who went insane)(His wives must have really been something else to drive him nuts like that, eh?) and Solomon (The wisest man who ever lived.)

I can see the logic in the last one: Old Solomon apparently knew how to have a good time and he was absolutely a God-Approved individual according to the “Book” itself in which there is never a lie nor a shadow of turning nor any darkness whatsoever.

Yes!  I get the impression that wise old Solomon was not only a Holy party guy but he might have been something of a rounder as well.

So now the flaming Righties are going to gnash their teeth and rend their garments and tell me all about how wrong I am, how I am twisting the Scriptures and how those things were all done away with after Jesus came to Earth.

So, were all these old practices, traditions and laws annulled by the advent of Jesus Christ?

Jesus answers that Himself and the answer is a blazing, absolutely certain, immutable and irrevocable “No!”  He did not do away with anything commanded in the Old Testament at all including the multiple marriages.

Check out Luke Chapter 16, verse 17 in The New Testament where Jesus speaks: “And it is easier for Heaven and Earth to pass, than one tittle of the Law to fail.”

O.K., if that isn’t enough to rattle some Rightie cages, let’s look at Matthew Chapter 5, verses 17-18 where Jesus speaks again: “Think not that I am come to destroy the Law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till Heaven and Earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, til all be fulfilled.”

So much for the popular Rightie definition of “Traditional Marriage,” eh?

In the Bible, “Traditional Marriage” meant as many women as one could live with and support, as many concubines as one could entice and as many lovers hidden away in dark recesses of palatial palaces that income could sustain.

Sorry, Righties!  You lose!

So, don’t be chicken! Get off the hypocritical high horse, make the decision that you are not God and get out there and honor the Jesus you say you serve by showing a little love, understanding, compassion and acceptance of those who might be a little different that you are.

That is the really “Christian” thing to do.


John publishes The Liming Liberal Democrat.


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11 thoughts on “Religion and The Great Chicken Marriage Thing

  1. They can pretty it up any way they want but there is no denying that Christianity and most other religions are hotbeds of bigotry and hate.

  2. How strange you make that comment, Dario. Your statement itself is bigoted and hateful.

  3. How so redStategirl? When did calling out bigotry become an act of bigotry? Do you deny that the Old Testament promotes homophobia to say nothing of the demeaning way it treats women?

  4. Dear Dario,
    Don’t sweat the objections that are sure to be voiced by some of the Right Wingers – – – they haven’t a clue in many instances of what real religion or morality even is.

    And even if some Righties suffer a pang of conscience and begin to inwardly agree with you, they will never admit it for fear of being branded by their own ilk. They seem to have an overwhelming fear of being seen among their peers as any kind of “Republican In Name Only (RINO) — they are programmed by long years of propaganda to immediately attack anything that smells of Liberalism, Democrat or Progressive. They don’t often have a reason other than something they have learned to parrot from others, but they are obedient “True Believers” and will always attack.

    True Godliness is defined in The Bible by “Longsuffering, patience, kindness, love, tender heartedness, humility, acceptance of others, forgiveness of others, and a whole lot of things that many Righties have no idea of because they have been raised in a self-serving insular world that preaches material abundance as the primary Job of God toward His Faithful and all those other things are often absolutely ignored, revised or forgotten entirely.

    For a longer dissertation on what Christianity is supposed to be, get into the Bible and look up “The Fruits Of The Holy Spirit” as a means of detecting true Christianity and notice how often the things many of The Far Right Extremeists say and do come up extremely short by definition of The Scripture itself.

    There are two destinations outlined in Christian Scripture: Heaven for those who Love according to the instructions of Christ and Hell for those who want to hang onto their pride, hate and prejudice.

    The Bible itself declares that in the last days people will become blinded to the truth because of the multiplicity of their own sins and that many of these will be no better than Pharisees and Sadducees and will absolutely enjoy all the material rewards of the earthly life but will entirely miss the joys of Heaven.

  5. @Dario, redState girl’s definition of bigoted and hateful is anyone who does not agree with her 100%.

  6. When the carpenter’s lad was out there in the desert -some said avoiding the toil of his father’s shop- with those Hellenistic hipsters, the Essenes, eating nothing but the occasional locust, one might understand a lengthy exchange or two with a daemonic visitor. And if several of the group saw as liberation getting caca on one another’s bald-headed, one-eyed mice…well, perhaps the group might argue -lacking the hypothalmic key- such passing of time was an impediment to clarity. Maybe not. After all, the Young General had traveled the world with a beloved, beauteous young boy. Had he not?

    Certainly the God who entered human history (whether you be Jew, Christian or Muslim) to close the deal -yes, He had to die- did so with a love that curved at the edges -like His universe- including all that so lovingly mattered.

    “Whatever you say father; ‘J&J Carpentry is fine’. But first I have to do this other work.”

  7. I don’t care if you agree with me or not, Mr. Blair. Calling all Christians bigots is a bigoted statement.

  8. Dear Mr. Blair,

    Personally I do not waste time trying to argue with this kind of mindset – – – it will always seek to have the last word and you can waste an awfully lot of time if you try to reason in these cases.

    Remember that some individuals simply cannot stand to hear truth.

    The Bible says that many will not come to the light because they love the darkness.

    Whether someone calls you “Bigot” or something worse, stand on that solid foundation of Love that Jesus laid for you and you will never go wrong. It will be the tormentors and the hypocrites, the liars and the bigots and haters who will pay the price of their eternal souls. They need prayer, not discussion…not argument.

  9. “I don’t care if you agree with me or not, Mr. Blair. Calling all Christians bigots is a bigoted statement.”

    I did not call all Christians bigots, nor, when you look at his statement, did Dario, and if you say that either of us did, you are a liar. What Dario did say was that religion fosters bigotry, and if I think back to my days in a religious elementary school, I recall that we were told that our denomination was the only valid one, that only we could go to heaven and were encouraged to never be friends with children of other religions. If that’s not fostering bigotry, I don’t know what is.

    One thing that I have said is that Christianity is a silly religion, but I also say that about all but one other religion. To answer the unasked question, I am not a member of that religion; I happen to think that my own is rather silly too.

  10. i came across this excellent article several days ago, Debunking ‘Biblical marriage': Why the Bible can’t dictate today’s sexual morals

    Let’s begin with an easy target: “biblical marriage.” Despite frequent claims to the contrary, not a single biblical book endorses marriage between one man and one woman for the purposes of procreation. Directed at men, the laws attributed to Moses assume that Israelites will marry as many wives as they can reasonably support. By contrast, when Jesus speaks about marriage, he largely warns against it, presenting family life as a distracting waste of time. The apostle Paul follows suit, teaching that celibacy is the best choice for Jesus’ followers. He recommends marriage only as a concession to those unable to keep their sexual impulses in check. Later New Testament writers do sanction marriage, but not for the sake of procreation and romantic love. Instead, marriage is portrayed as a venue for testing the fitness of male church leaders, who are told to love their wives and to be kind to their slaves. Wives, children and slaves, however, must obey the men in charge, no matter what, and this in a culture where the sexual access of masters to their slaves was simply presupposed. Biblical books never speak to marriage as currently practiced in the US and what they do say is totally contradictory.

    and this:

    Despite common misperceptions, biblical writers could also imagine same-sex intimacy as a source of blessing. For example, the seemingly intimate relationship between the Old Testament’s David and Jonathan, in which Jonathan loved David more than he loved women, may have been intended to justify David’s rise as king.

    Jonathan, not David, was a king’s son. David was only a shepherd. Yet by becoming David’s “woman,” Jonathan voluntarily gave up his place for his beloved friend.

    Thus, Jonathan “took great delight in David,” foiling King Saul’s attempts to arrange for David’s death (1 Samuel 19:1). Choosing David over his father, Jonathan makes a formal covenant with his friend, asking David to remain faithful to him and his descendants.

    Sealing the covenant, David swears his devotion to Jonathan, “for he loved him as he loved his own life” (1 Samuel 20:17). When Jonathan is killed, King David composes a eulogy for him, praising his devotion: “greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women” (2 Samuel 1:26).

    Kind of messes with the mind of the religious bigots (and, no, redState, I can attest that all are not bigots – there’s a church I pass every time I go through town proclaiming that same sex couples are welcome.

    The folks that showed up at Chick-Fil-A on appreciation day — they’re the bigots.

  11. I will agree with Red State on one thing; calling all Christians bigots is bigoted, but I also don’t believe E.A. Blair called all Christians bigots either. I’m a Christian but I don’t believe I’m a bigot. At least I don’t have any hate or prejudice against any certain minority, that is unless that group are bigots, much like the Tea Party is mostly bigots, but I’m sure there’s a few who just lost their way and found themselves at a Tea Party rally with signs portraying our president as Hitler and a few other nasty things. Not!

    Jesus really had nothing to say about gay people or gay sex. if he had anything nasty to say, it was always about the scribes and pharisees, the religious leaders because they were always doing what the Christian Right does today; judging everyone else when their own lives are full of darkness and hate.

    I do know when someone desires to get married, it’s saying they’re ready to commit their lives and their love to just one person. How special is that? Throughout most of my gay life, I’ve been exposed to the underbelly of gay sex – bars, tearooms, bathhouses and the bushes at Griffith Park in L.A. where I met a porn star that I had a crush on since high school. And I must say; he was really a disappointment, to say the least.

    Now I’ve got gay brothers and sisters who want to tie the knot and show their love in front of God and the world and all I can say is “Wow! Love is really Happening!’

    So when I hear the same old crap from the Religious Right in this nation about how gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage, after watching divorce after divorce from those “breeders” (excuse the derogatory term), they got no business talking sanctity to me.

    Let’s see if us gays can do a better job at marriage. Probably not but it’s worth a try.

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