Thanks to E.A. Blair for suggesting this wonderful new product...and illustration. We're planning on introducing more of your favorite wingers on Flakies boxes because...well, because every wingnut deserves the recognition.
From The Onion:
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Just when you thought you had heard every vacuous argument against gun control possible, we are now told that there exists a link between universal background checks, abortion and mental illness.
Conservative columnist, Star Parker appearing on Hannity’s show.
“…they’re saying if you’ve had any mental problem in your background, well, does that mean that they’re going to ask questions about abortion? Because people who have had abortion, according to studies, have a tendency to have mental challenges later on.”
“Are we going to start asking about divorce? Because when you look at what happened at Sandy Hook, the woman who bought the weapons that her son stole, she had gotten a divorce and she had been drinking…”
In truth, the “according to studies” part of this winger’s argument is total bullshit. The studies actually find, as expected, that there is no link between abortion and mental illness.Obviously, no lie is too ridiculous for Hannity’s show if it helps support whatever right-wing crap-du-jour they’re pushing.
But Parker wasn’t done doing stupid. Gun control, she claims, is a carryover from the days of slavery with the intent of keeping guns out of the hands of blacks.
“I thought it appropriate to remind Americans that we’ve been here before. How is it that 5 percent of the population, the KKK — six million people in a country of more than 100 million — how is it that 5 percent were able to wreak havoc over 4 million new citizens, the former slaves? And one of the ways is because they systematically — the Democrats in power, the Democrats in political power in the South — systematically passed gun control laws in black code so that blacks would not be able to exercise their right to bear arms.”
Any call for a background check on Star Parker to determine a history of mental illness would be a totally reasonable request.
And there you go – just another episode of Fox’s Fact-Free Zone where race, slavery, the KKK, abortion, divorce, alcoholism and gun control are all somehow linked and not a single attempt to validate any of it is made.
One day I’ll learn to stop reading any article that starts with, “On Fox News today…”
Morris was so laughably wrong in almost everything he said that even many die-hard conservatives no doubt found him to be a buffoon. When he tells you over and over again that there’s no way your side can lose, and then they do, his credibility suffers even with people who want to believe him. But what really did him in, I think, was when it came out in December that he was, in all probability, running a scam on the Fox News viewers whom he implored to contribute to his super PAC to defeat Barack Obama. None of the money went to that cause, instead probably finding its way back into Morris’s pocket. It’s one thing to treat Fox viewers like fools—most of the network’s personalities do that every day. But it’s quite another to treat them like marks. If you do it as blatantly as Morris did, the entire brand is threatened.
In the end, it became too obvious that Dick Morris wasn’t working for the betterment of the conservative movement, or the Republican party, or Fox News. He was working for the betterment of Dick Morris. Once that became all too obvious, I’m sure Ailes had no qualms about showing him the door. After all, there’s plenty more where he came from.
Fox viewers – fools? Nah. Really?
Morris might have been more blatant in his ways than the many grifters who appear daily on Fox but there’s a fine line between Morris’ antics and those of say, a Bill O’Reilly. Truth and honesty would never take precedence over the $20 million O’Reilly pulls in each year in salary alone from Fox. Bill knows what his audience of low-information muppets wants to hear and he delivers without fail.
I just read something I have to share. Maybe I’m just tired, not sure, but I found the following bit of dialogue hilarious. It comes from a thread in the comments section of a MediaMatters piece on Fox News. It has Megyn Kelly blaming the media over a recent poll indicating that 36 percent of people idiots believe that President Obama is hiding information about his background. This prompted one reader to write:
Like so many others on FOX NEWS, Megyn Kelly speaks of “the media” as some despicable, disgusting thing and as though what she does is NOT part of it.
Hell, if “the media” were a person, FOX NEWS would be its asshole.
And then came this lovely bit of commentary from the next few readers…
No, it would be the cyst on it’s asshole.
Not even that. It would be the mucus that spews from the cyst on the asshole.
It would be the infection contained in the mucus that spews from the cyst on the asshole.
I think it can be said with a good deal of certainty that Fox’s Eric Bolling has flown too close to stupid so many times that the damage done to whatever is remaining of his brain is now irreparable. When one start seeing a liberal agenda lurking in the shadows of algebra, you know that paranoia has taken a firm hold.
Any hour of any day on Fox is a study in unabashed ignorance and Bolling does not disappoint with his critique of Scholastic Books take on algebra. For those of you who have been away from algebra for a while, here’s a refresher on the Distributive Property compliments of CoolMath.
See anything political in the above property? You don’t? Then you definitely need to spend more time tuned in to Fox News. Here, let Mr. Bolling explain it to you.
See? President Obama’s socialist puppet, Scholastic Books, is doing the Kenyan’s dirty work and indoctrinating America’s children in the worst of ways. Fox News to the rescue!
A MediaMatters reader provides this insight into Bolling’s view of grade school math.
I remember distributive algebra from way back in the fifties. If Jane has six dollars and gives a dollar each to Dick and Jack and a quarter each to Bob and Martha, how many communists are there in the Democrat Party?
Bolling’s answer: too damned many!
And they call Fox News stupid television for little minds. I wonder why…