Category Archives: Conservative Madness

Something Tells Me It Wasn’t Just Because It Sounded Pretty

Obama the Communist  :

Sometimes, comrades and friends, the right has to dig down pretty deep to find another reason to despise Obama.

It was once not uncommon in ‘captive’ communist satellite nations (subjugated to the USSR) to give your child a Russian name, mostly to show support for the Soviet system and provide them a leg-up in the commie world. But how many (esp black) Americans do YOU know with a Russian first name?

How amusing it is then that the Obamas’ last federal tax return revealed a fact not publicly known- that ‘Sasha’s actual legal name is ‘Nastasha’, which means ‘birthday’ in the language of the USSR. And something tells me it wasn’t just because it sounded pretty.

Of course it’s a family tradition with Obama- after all, his parents met in Russian language class at the University of Hawaii. And WHAT kind of people took Russian in America in 1961…? Outside of CIA spooks, Lee Harvey Oswald comes to mind…

If nothing else, wingers are an imaginative bunch.


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Have A Cookie and Go Play With Your Toes

Republican elephants on Hand -

Republican congressman Marlin Stutzman of Indiana wants respect. He wants respect so badly that he insists that Republicans get some kind of prize for their hard work in shutting down the government. What that prize might be…well, he’s not quite sure.

“We aren’t going to be disrespected…We have to get something out of this. And I don’t know what that even is.”

The wit of Charles P. Pierce comes out to play.

Have a cookie, Marlin. Have a cookie and go play with your toes.

Have a cookie and go play with your toes” should become the standard rejoinder to all Republican inanity. Pierce has quickly become one of my favorite writers on all things politics for his no-bullshit approach to the bullshit that is politics. He also just happens to be an excellent writer as demonstrated in this fine analysis of the Party of Perpetual Victimhood.

A largely unremarked element of the etiology of the prion disease currently afflicting the Republican party — and therefore, alas, the country — is the carefully cultivated, and by now deeply inculcated, sense of conservative victimhood that has been a prime element of conservatism’s emotional appeal since long before Richard Nixon rose to power on it. They are always beset. They are always besieged. They are always surrounded — by intellectuals, by scientists, by the all-powerful Left that exists primarily in their imaginations, because it certainly doesn’t exist in American politics, and hasn’t since the days of Joe McCarthy. Culturally, this always has been expressed partly by the endless conservative bleating that somebody, somewhere is getting laid. The Gospels tell us that the gates of hell will not prevail against Christ’s church. The Republicans find their faith imperiled by Barney Frank’s marriage. There is always a shadow on the wall, a monster in the closet, a mysterious rustling in the teeming underbrush of the conservative Id.

In my lifetime alone, I’ve seen Nixon play this like a violin, Goldwater delegates proudly chanting their sagebrush songs of rebellion, Agnew intimidate the media with their own intellectual achievement, as though an advanced degree was smuggling drugs, and now this bunch, the natural heirs to decades of conservatives who have fought the dragons in their own minds, and who, like Marlin Stutzman, seem mystified that they have not yet been awarded the Order Of The Legion Of Courage. Vainglorious louts, driving the nails into their own palms.

Vainglorious louts, driving the nails into their own palms. The guy is good.


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Most Conservative Leaders Will Never Understand

Upton Sinclair quote - Conservatives  :

Sinclair has it right. I would also add that the understanding is even harder to come by when the people involved are, for the most part, suffering from a personality disorder that “manifests itself in such traits as dishonesty, charm, manipulation, narcissism, and a lack of both remorse and impulse control.”

That’s right – sociopathic behavior.

Which is why these conservatives and their minions…

O’Reilly, Beck, Hannity, Malkin, Ailes, Limbaugh, Inhofe, Savage, Cruz, Drudge, Paul, Palin, Levin, Will, Rove, Krauthammer, Coulter and many others…

will never understand…

health care, poverty, climate change, middle class issues, fair taxation, gun control, immigration, marriage equality or women’s issues.



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Conservatives Really, Really Need To Follow Limbaugh’s Advice

Rush Limbaugh - The Godfather  :

As Republican’s go through the soul-searching painful exercise of figuring out why they suck as a political party, here’s hoping they follow the advice of Rush Limbaugh. On the same day that the RNC released a post election report that called for the GOP to modernize and be more open to Hispanics and women, Limbaugh had this to say:

“The Republicans are just totally bamboozled right now, and they are entirely lacking in confidence, which is what happens to every political party after an election in which they think they got shellacked. They think they got landslided, and they didn’t, but they’re acting like they did, and they think they did.”

“They think they’ve gotta rebrand and it’s all predictable. They gotta reach out to minorities. They gotta moderate their tone here and moderate their tone there.  And that’s not at all what they’ve gotta do.”

And the kicker…

“The Republican Party lost because it’s not conservative.”


Republicans need to be even more conservative than they’ve been for the last five years! In Limbaugh’s world, there can never be too many forced vaginal probes to show “slutty” women who’s really in charge of their bodies. Gays and lesbians? Demonize them to your heart’s content.

Round up those 11 million lazy, undocumented immigrants and fill up the cattle cars!

In Limbaugh’s world, polls indicating that 58 percent of Americans are now in favor of same-sex marriage can and should be ignored. As should the fact that Hispanics make up the fastest growing voting demographic in the U.S.

Piss on polls and piss on facts and truth and decency and whatever else messes with one’s narrow-minded, bigoted, ignorant, xenophobic beliefs.

Yes, ignore it all and push for more stringent conservatism. There’s a winning hand if ever there was one.

Limbaugh - Dicks Illustrated  :

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The Christian Taliban Strikes Again

Hate - Religion

Don’t even think of engaging in sex if you’re single. It’s reserved for married people only. Really.

Who says? The Family Research Council’s (FRC) Pat Fagan does.

The court decided that single people have the right to contraceptives. What’s that got to do with marriage? Everything, because what the Supreme Court essentially said is single people have the right to engage in sexual intercourse. Well, societies have always forbidden that, there were laws against it. […]

It’s not the contraception, everybody thinks it’s about contraception, but what this court case said was young people have the right to engage in sex outside of marriage. Society never gave young people that right, functioning societies don’t do that, they stop it, they punish it, they corral people, they shame people, they do whatever. The institution for the expression of sexuality is marriage and all societies always shepherded young people there, what the Supreme Court said was forget that shepherding, you can’t block that, that’s not to be done.

These maroons are praying daily for the Inquisition to make a comeback.

What’s really interesting is how conservative Christian groups like the Family Research Council demonize Islam. The FRC refers to Islam as a “fanatical religion” and speaks of the evils of the dreaded sharia law. From the FRC website:

In our country, many may not want to hear about the dangers of Islam. However, George Orwell once said that Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. We have that right. Speak up.

Here’s what the Quran says about pre-marital sex.

Quran 25:68-70 “And those who invoke not any other god along with Allah, nor kill such life as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse (zina) and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent and believe and do righteous deeds, for those Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

Quran 17:32  “And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way.”

[Quran 24:2] The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication flog each of them with a hundred stripes: let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.

Not much difference between that and, “society never gave young people that right, functioning societies don’t do that, they stop it, they punish it, they corral people, they shame people, they do whatever.” The Christian Taliban indeed.

The Family Research Council has correctly been designated as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. We can safely add ‘hypocritical crackpot’ to the designation. Oh, and someone needs to tell these assholes that 80 percent of unmarried evangelical Christians claim that they’re having sex. That should get a few heads exploding over at FRC headquarters.


Note: A clarification on my illustration above…because I’ve been asked a number of times. I’m not stating that Christianity preaches hate. (Although a case can be made that the Old Testament does exactly that in many instances.) My point is that many individuals and groups (Family Research Council, for example) use Christianity to preach their brand of hate.

The hate is not in the cross. The cross is in the the hate.


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